I appreciate the feedback and I understand that it appears I am so far wrong, and yes, I will repeat it again. I know it runs contrary to everything you have believed all your life, but:
Circumstances do not cause feelings.
We can’t go into great depths on this today, but I think that in another 30 seconds you will believe that this is at least a possibility, and the doorway to the life you dream of will have started to creak open.
Circumstances do not cause feelings, thoughts cause feelings. As we said before, if your dog get’s hit by a car and you don’t know it, your feelings have not changes. It is only when you know it and think specific thoughts that feelings are evoked. Conversely, if you were told that your dog were hit by a car you would likely start thinking thoughts that would evoke the same feelings, even if your informant was mistaken and it was a different dog. It is literally “the thought that counts.”
In every case the feelings we feel are generated by the thoughts we think, not by circumstance. Not only is this a critical piece of marketing understanding, it may well be the one most important understanding we need in order to lead a rich, full life free from the influence of circumstance that besieges us every day. Circumstances do not cause feelings.
Think about it. This means we can feel happy, at peace, angry, distraught, or any other feeling we chose, every moment. This means that we can immediately eliminate the ability that every other person has to push our buttons. This means that we are free! Think about it. Right now you have a problem, something that is bothering you, a situation or circumstance that you wish were otherwise. It is eating at you, invading your life, your sleep, your relationships, your finances, making you feel lousy. There may be nothing you can do about the circumstance, but . . . it is not the circumstance that is bothering you, it is what you are thinking about the circumstance. Therein lays your power.
Christ, Buddha, Krishna, the Dalai Lama, your grandfather, everyone who would wish you a joyful life is trying to tell you this in one way or another. This one concept is the key to living the live you choose to lead. It eliminates the victim option entirely. It takes away the ability for anyone else to “make” you happy or sad, and it gives you the immediate and absolute power to control the only thing you really want to control, the way you feel.
Sorry, but as hard as this is to believe, you don’t need money to feel rich, you don’t need status to feel important, and you don’t need a lover to feel loved. You have the ability, right now, to generate any of those feelings within you without your circumstance changing. It is really that simple, but it’s not really that easy.
The illusion of circumstance has served us for so long that we have a hard time letting go. It hasn’t been all bad either. We hang onto it because it has served us in the past, and it is much easier for us to continue believing in something that leaves us powerless. You are no longer responsible for . . . for anything . . . circumstance did it. Yes, more than anything else, we fear how infinitely powerful we may actually be. It is more responsibility that we care to handle, and the repercussions of this responsibility far too significant.
If that is the case with you (which it is) then go with it, blame circumstance and you’re off the hook, but remember, you are the one who has chosen to stand in a dark room. If on the other hand, you want the pain to stop, the excuses to end, your smile to return, and your dreams to miraculously come true, you might decide right now, to stop believing that your feelings are caused by circumstance.
Long ago I heard that meditation will solve all of our problems. I didn’t believe it at the time, but now I see that meditation annihilates our imaginary link between circumstance and feeling. In a very short time the link abates and we are left with nothing but joy.
That’s where I would start.